Health & Fitness
The world is heavy . . .
Ramblings of a stressed mommy in the midst of big decision making for my son.
I can say that with certainty as I carry it on my shoulders more than I'd like.
Raising children, you spend a good portion of your time around making decisions pondering if it is the right choice. Right for you, for your child, the other children, right today, right 5 years, 10 years, 30 years from now. Eventually the child gets a voice of their own and helps weigh in with their opinion - which either helps or hinders your decision making.
Raising Will I have found the decision making process to be a near killer. Gah. Every day is a new set of decisions I have to make for him, his wants, his likes, his needs. From muffins or poptarts for breakfast to ipad or pictures for communication. Is he nodding or is he stimming? Is he happy, seriously, genuinely happy or is it just the Angelman showing its telltale "happy" side. Is the material on this going to drive his sensory issues crazy and is he just coughing while he is drinking or aspirating? Is that a wheeze or just a throat rattle?
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Literally his entire life is in my hands, in my decision making. I tend to go with my gut, which is usually right but some decisions have long lasting, lingering affects and I may not know until it is too late if I decided right.
His wheelchair production was such a HUGE onslaught of information and choices. Seats, seatbelts, tray, arms, brakes, wheels, locks, etc. When the doctor, Dr. Katholi, actually sat down next to me and started talking through the decisions, like a couple would, I could have cried and kissed and hugged him. It was such a huge help to have someone to bounce it off of. And that was just his wheelchair.
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I trust my natural maternal instinct that I am making the best choices possible for my son, his development, his future and who is around him. I pray daily I am right.
To married couples who think their spouse drives them crazy, appreciate the fact that they are there to bounce things off of, to help carry the weight of the world. Whether or not you realize it, they have a percentage of it on their side too.