Thursday will be my first holiday officially divorced. The last few months have provided me an opportunity to truly reflect on my life. Amid the uncertainty of the future, I have so much for which to be grateful. But for a few minutes, I will have a bitter Thanksgiving before reminding myself of the better Thanksgiving I will be celebrating with my daughter (and without, politely put, the “big turkey” or any of the extra trimmings).
I know finding my true self is one blessing that has come out of this divorce. To quote from Twitter,
"Sorry, I’m not Adele. I don’t wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you."
The journey was bitter. But I was urged to confidently continue and felt empowered because of loved ones, indulgent meals and music. Bitterness accomplishes nothing. But this past resentment made me the person I am today. So for a few minutes come Thursday, I will play the music that helped me define who I am and get me through the heartache.
Dear John – "You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain."
Oh Taylor Swift, I couldn’t decide whether this or your latest anthem should make my top five. But this song expresses such raw emotion about her reported relationship with John Mayer, so it was difficult to not include.
Forget You –"And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a forget you"
I’ll admit, in my most bitter of bitter days, I’m listening to the NSFW version of Cee Lo Green’s hit.
You Oughta Know – "It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me"
This ode to breakups by Alanis Morrissette pulls me through each and every time. Seriously.
You’re So Vain – "You gave away the things you loved and one of them was me."
Carly Simon gets a nod on my list because obviously the breakup could never be my fault. It’s always the other party’s, right? Classic.
Wake Up Call – “Would have bled to make you happy. You didn’t need to treat me that way.”
I won't lie. Adam Levine makes this song for me. Breakup worthy or not.
I will only listen to the playlist once on Thanksgiving. No dwelling in the past. No pouting. Rather than lamenting on love lost and resenting my situation, I will focus on the blessings I have. So if you see a better Mom enjoying a Thanksgiving feast with her daughter, that's me. Make sure you raise a glass and say, "cheers!"
Justin Timberlake. Kelly Clarkson. Beyonce. Ani Difranco. So many other songs spoke to me. Have one you think would be great for this holiday celebration? Let me know.