Objects in mirror are closer than they appear . . .

Having Will in our lives has opened my eyes to facets of the world and of people I never really paid much attention to.  After his diagnosis and when steps seemed a possibility in the distant future, he started acquiring devices.  Loads and loads of devices.  To date he has AFO braces (Ankle Foot Orthotic - from the toes to mid calf), a K walker (loaned to us by a fellow angel family), a gait trainer (another loaner from a fellow angel family), a wheelchair and an adaptive stroller.  I actually had to trade my little 2 door Pontiac G6 in (bought prior to Will being even a slight possibility) for a Ford Escape just to have an easier time getting him in and out and being able to cart all his stuff.  A year after buying that car and I really wish I had swallowed the price difference and gotten a bigger truck as I can only really carry one adaptive device at a time in my Escape.

Along with all these devices came a handicapped placard.  Will takes steps but he isn't, by any stretch of the imagination, a walker.  He toddles sporadically but he is happiest on my hip or on all fours crawling, which is not possible in a parking lot or store.  His physiatrist (yes, physiatrist not psychiatrist.  I struggled with that one myself and most employees at the Cleveland Clinic have no idea what it is!) wrote me a script for a handicapped placard.  To not have to walk what felt like across the world to get where I was going, in the snow, with a deadweight 38 pound toddler on my hip?  HEAVEN.  I sent it into the state and received my placard fairly quickly, which was surprising.

Holy moly let me tell you the ugly side of people this placard brings out.  Judgmental, snarky, nasty things have happened since this placard.

Let me start by saying - not all disabilities or health conditions that warrant a handicapped placard are visible.  Prior to Will I know I, too, would silently judge when what appeared to be a totally normal person got out of a car in a handicapped spot.  I now can say - do not judge a book by its cover.  You have no way of knowing what lies just beneath the surface.  I know people see me, Gab and Will get out of my little Escape and think, huh?  Young, smiling, happy - what are they doing in a handicapped spot?

One time that sticks out in my mind still gets my blood pressure up.  Will had received his AFOs and needed shoes to go over them.  I had to go up two sizes and find extra wide width to go around these bad boys.  I drove to the shoe store at a shopping complex near home and eased into a handicapped spot while my sweet boy slept in the back in his car seat, braced to his knees.  I was having a text conversation with a friend and as I responded I noticed a gentlman pulling into the handicapped spot to my right.  There were also two across from us that were open, I was occupying the first in the row.  I really didn't think anything, actually threw this "guy" a smile as he parked and went back to my conversation feeling his eyes on me the whole time.

Here is where my personality shines folks, consider yourselves warned :-)

Next thing I know there is a tap, tap, tap on my driver side window and, don't ya know, there is Mr. Personality himself.  I roll down my window and say, yes?

"Umm, yeah, hi" he says.

"Hi . . ." I cautiously reply.  Instinct tells me there is going nowhere good.

"Umm, yeah, so what is wrong with you that you are in a handicapped spot?  Are you handicapped or just here on your computer?"

I swear my mouth his the ground, at least it felt that way.  Seriously, this guy who is OBVIOUSLY fully functioning (well that is still questionable) is questioning me????  So many responses ran through my head and my hands were shaking.  All while my beautiful angel slept in the backseat. 

I took a breath and replied "No, sir, I am not handicapped.  My 2 year old son, however, is and he can't walk or talk.  What is your excuse?"

He literally took a step back and, when he did, peeked in my backseat.  He clearly missed that little boy braced up to his knees (pic attached because he looked so sweet sleeping that day) who was occupying my car.

Mr. Couth struggled, stammered, and came up with this "Oh, yeah, see I saw you pull in and immediately pull out your computer and start typing on it.  And my mom is a senior and she can't walk far and we need to go in that store there, so I, I'm sorry . . ."

I cut him off because the Italian in me woke up and asked "So, you are parked in a handicapped spot, correct?  And there is one directly ACROSS from my car open, correct?  So are you just looking to offend someone and argue or do you have a point sir?"

After a few more profuse apologies he walked into the store with his head down - leaving his handicapped elderly mother in the car alone.  Ahhh, people.

This was not the first, nor will it be the last, mumbled comment by passers by as I get out of the car with my two children, both who seem just fine.  Or looks by people as I pull in.  Nor is it the first facet of our lives where Will's gorgeous phenotype (and, yes, I'm biased) has bit me in the a**.  It hindered his diagnosis and his many treatments of pneumonia and other illnesses.  His medical records prove that point and, I swear, one day I will email all those doctors who took such time to document what a whack job they were convinced I was in the sparse notes of my son's health and let them know just who the whack job is.

So all this to say - please don't judge a book by its cover.  I'm totally fine with questions, I am an open book - I document my life on the internet.  But do not attack, do not assume, do not judge and do not come at me or anyone else in a handicapped spot with a placard.  You may not like their outward appearance but we all had to follow process to be determined eligible for that little piece of placard.  I didn't get it at Five Below folks and I do not enjoy having a child that qualifies for a handicapped placard.